Next-Level Communication

Here are the communication skills we’ll work on…

My approach will help you use language and your senses to be a better, more confident communicator.

Focusing on the positive…

In general, I will encourage you to focus on the positive. The Balansa Method values positive leadership whether you lead professionally, at home, or trying to make a change for yourself.

It’s all about perspective and mindset. The concept is simple: Focus on the glass half full.

I know what you are thinking… easier say than done. Don’t worry. I will teach you the formula. And the more you practice, the more you rewire your brain to focus on what you have rather than what you don’t have. When you eventually talk about what you don’t have, you will approach it to push you to get it.

During the coaching, I will guide you through body-mind-spirit exercises, such as breathing and gentle movements laying down, sitting, and standing, to help you find your center, stable ground, and inner flow to process the learning more deeply and holistically. This process will lead you to phrase your thoughts and conversation in a way that focuses on the solution and give you the direction of action.

Pushing for action…

You will learn and practice phrasing sentences focusing on the desired solution instead of the problem.

For example. I will choose not to say: “I can’t go to the gym today because my shoes are broken.”
Instead, I will say: “I need different shoes so I can go to the gym.”

The learning process involves teaching and explaining the basics of building the sentence correctly. Then, lots of practice through the sessions with me, other participants, and writing. You will get written and actual practice assignments to keep your practice going between the sessions.

You will rewire your brain to focus on the solution and push yourself and those around you to act as you practice.

So the next time you have a conversation with a client, you will choose not to say: “I can’t perform this task because you didn’t give enough details,” you will choose to say: “Please give me more details so I can perform this task the best way possible.”

Your client will feel respected and valuable, and they will appreciate you for knowing what is needed to get their request done. They will probably even feel safe and supported because you are directing them calmly and politely.

This formula works! I will coach you through the learning process, guide you as you practice, and make it your default style of phrasing your thoughts and conversation.

Making it persuasive…

Being persuasive is not about tricking someone into doing what you want. It’s about acting with empathy and compassion, making them want to cooperate by recognizing their needs at the moment.

There are many ways to make yourself persuasive. Some of them are universal (one size fits all), and some are individual for the person you are dealing with.

Here is an example of a universal technique that almost always works: Add logic and reasoning to your request. This type of phrasing in communication will make most people feel respected and supported, and they will respond the way we would like them to.

Here is how it goes…

Me to my five-year-old: “You can’t wear these shoes today.”
Child: “Why?”
Me: “Just trust me. You shouldn’t wear them.”

If your child is anything like mine, they will not respond well to this type of communication. So I choose to say: “Honey, don’t wear these shoes because it’s going to rain a lot today. The rain might ruin them, and I know how much you like them.”

And that is it – no more conversation about that. My daughter feels respected because I didn’t look down on her. I gave her a reason. She probably also appreciated that I noticed how much she likes her new shoes and wanted to help her protect them.

An individualized way of persuading others depends on your ability to recognize what they need and want. Recognize their pattern and body language.

For example, I had a client who managed a team of six people. One of them always gave him a hard time and argued with every small and big decision my client made.

After observing how the team member communicated with others, he realized that not controlling really threw that person off. My client then began always to give that team member two options to choose from while explaining the pros and cons. That team member felt empowered and respected. He felt more in control because he could choose. With this new attitude, he became one of the team’s most valuable members. He could communicate calmly once he didn’t feel the pressure to argue to find his balance and safe feeling. Then, my clients were able to benefit from his ideas and knowledge.

Observing patterns is a learned skill, and we will practice that together by watching and learning (naturally, this specific skill is being practiced better in group sessions).

Another part of individualizing the persuasion is using your specific strength, such as humor, assertiveness, sensitivity, creativity, and more. Through the process, I will help you spot your strengths, develop them, and make them available to use to your benefit through your communication.

Setting your expectations and communicating your needs and wants…

Setting expectations is super important when maintaining relationships (personal and professional) and creating healthy interactions.

Remember: no one knows what’s going on in your brain. No one knows your thoughts or your feelings.

They don’t know if you don’t tell them. Even the people who know you best need help understanding how you feel and think.

Save yourself and others around you disappointment and arguments by learning how to express your expectations of the other person and the situation. You have to paint a clear and specific picture of your expectations so the other person can be on the same page as you.

Communicate respectfully and with empathy. Do not assume that the other person knows. They don’t.

The best way to understand the crucial need to set expectations is to think about you and your best friend going to a restaurant. You both sit at the same table, with the same light, talking to the same waiter, and ordering the same soup.

Do you have the same experience? Of course not. You feel cold, the light seems nice and soft to you, and the soup is great but too hot. Your friend, however, keeps sweating. They feel that it’s too dark and that the soup is too salty. You are both different people with different DNA and life experience. You must set expectations to create clear and constructive interaction.

Recognizing others’ (and your own) body signals…

If you wonder why people aren’t listening to you or feel misunderstood, begin by learning about your body language, facial expressions, and intonation.

Are you sending mixed signals? Here are a few examples of mixed signals:

• A weak handshake (connecting to someone else) keeps the connection weak.
• Someone says they are happy to see you but never smile at you, and their facial expressions don’t match.
• Someone who keeps saying they’re in a hurry but never leaves…

I will help you identify your communication patterns to decide if they take you where you want to go. Using simple movement exercises, I will help you be more aware of yourself as a whole (body-mind-spirit connected), so you can make a better connection between what you mean to express and what you actually express.

But how about recognizing other people’s signals and patterns? This piece is very important if you are trying to promote great communication and interaction and even more important if you want to persuade people to do what you want.

During the coaching, I will help you recognize other people’s body language, what they express, and when they repeat it. Once you get that down, you will have a better idea of approaching them.

Maybe your family uses humor and sarcasm at home. Growing up, you got your way with your family members through this type of communication. So your default reaction when there is a conflict is making a joke. But it doesn’t mean that it will work at your workplace. Maybe your colleague will smile or laugh, but if you read their body language and expression (how they breathe, what happens to their breath, their shoulders, etc.), you will notice that they are offended and maybe angry with you now.

Being sensitive end empathetic can take you a long way with understanding others.

Using empathy to communicate without judgment and bias…

When you use empathy and try to walk a mile in the other person’s shoes, you can find it within yourself to be kinder and more patient. You will also find out A LOT about that person.

To understand how different everyone is, I will take you through a fascinating series of exercises (simple to perform but will give you tons of insights).

It will become super clear to you how to connect with others through their own experience, eye to eye, and on their level.

This ability to connect will help you communicate without bias and judgment. People react better when they don’t feel judged. They feel safer and respected, making your communication and interactions more positive and more effective.

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries…

Defining your boundaries is one of the first and more important things you have to do to establish better communication and interactions. When you know your emotional, personal, and professional boundaries, you have a clear ‘framework’ of how far you are willing to go, how close you’re allowing others to get, and how much you are letting in. The boundaries can be rigid or fluid and might change over time, but it’s easier to connect and communicate when you are aware of them.

Through efficient but straightforward movement exercises, you will learn to explore and define your boundaries. They will become clearer when I take you through some coaching tasks, mainly writing.

The other person’s boundaries are just as important to recognize. I will teach you skills and methods from movement analysis and the body language world to help you read the other person’s reaction. This way, you will know if you went too far or not far enough.

I prefer to view boundaries as a flexible filter or a membrane to protect and direct both sides. Kind of like your home that protects you from the sun, you sometimes let in the sun in a moderated matter. You have a door that keeps people out and directs them in.

Giving and receiving feedback…

Giving and receiving feedback is an art that takes learning and practice. When done in the right way, it keeps you updated about those around you and allows you to share your thoughts, feelings, and needs.

Giving great feedback combines great phrasing, positive thinking, solution-oriented communication, clarity, compassion, and empathy. It actually combines all the skills that we will learn and practice.